Musings on America - Part 2

If I don’t mention the heartbeat of the US, the Interstate system of highways, I would be doing great injustice to Eisenhower. Interstates are highways that run the length and breadth of the country – four lane for most part, except in cities where they are sometimes upto 16 lanes. It is safe and comfortable to drive on these roads. Coming from India, they were really a surprise to me. Cows and animals normally don’t cross the road and pedestrians/ cyclists are not even allowed on them. However, more exotic ones like antelopes and mongooses do try to cross them and sometimes get killed. Cars and trucks roam free, as long as they abide by the speed limits. It is 65 miles per hour high and 45 miles per hour low limit within which you drive – but practical allowance make it for a high of 75. You average about 100 km per hour on a normal journey, assuming sane driving.

Workplace is real cool. People come in at 8 and leave at 5. During work hours they actually work! That’s a far cry from India where people come in at 10, take huge breaks for lunch, tea and fags, go back at 9 in the night and say they are overworked. These are a few things my countrymen should learn from Americans. Professionals are really professionals. J When it comes to efficiency, there is no beating them. Of course, germans are still there in Europe… But these guys are a tad too much obsessed about efficiency.

The food is something I guess I will take some time getting used to. Burgers, pizzas and stuff. My god. Then there is coffee. And decaf. Can you imagine decaffeinated coffee? People here actually prefer it. Decaffeinated coffee seems to be something roughly similar to having water that will not quench thirst. Then there is sweeteners, which looks like sugar but is not sugar. Why? Sugar has too much calories it seems. Boy. It is definitely a land of extremes. People running marathons to pass time on one end and people who weigh 300 pounds on the other.

If you ever go to have tea, they would ask whether you want small, medium or large size cups. Indians should always ask for small because they will faint if they see the large size cups. The large cups are so large that those size vessels are used in my village back in Kerala to feed cows.

I guess it is precisely this play of extremes that makes life sometimes interesting in this strange land, flanked by two different oceans on either side, and a huge country on the north.

When I talk about the north, many more things come to my mind. For instance, the winter. The guys who have been reading this and not known the winters here should read on. In the tropics, we have a far better climate. Winters are chilly here – temperatures in dec and jan hover perpetually below zero Centrigrade (yea 32 F). Even 30s are considered warm enough. Till now I have seen -16C. Only polar bears are naturally adapted to live in this kind of weather. And I live so north that I can actually walk over to the Canadian border, and cycle to the north pole! Its the season here when people open the fridge to feel warm. I had once put a few cans of Pepsi in my car boot. Due to the cold, the liquid became solid and made holes on the can. It was steady -14C outside then. People in India would never have used heaters in their cars, except the ones living far north. Here it is an everyday thing in winter. You cannot drive without the heater.

If I come to social mannerism, it is really fun. People say sorry, thank you, excuse me et al at the drop of a hat. These words are used so frequently that it has lost meaning. It becomes a mere formality to use these once beautiful words. In India, it still means a lot to say a thank you or sorry to someone. On the rare occasions it is used in my country, it is usually meant. Here in US it is used everyday, and never the person using it means it. All these kinda speaks of their British ancestry.

I have not yet written of the most fascinating topic yet. Girls! This is the land of Marilyn Monroe and Britney Spears, J Lo and others. But women here seems so dignified to me, unlike what Indians think snobbishly. Girls don’t always dress the way they appear to be in Baywatch. If it is the idea of my Indian friends, they better change. It is something like how National Geographic shows Africa. It looks so sweet and cute on NG, but the reality is slightly different.

Though I don’t know much about the family life of the Americans here, I guess it is pretty much good and sweet. People don’t marry and divorce the next year. I guess we Indians need to really get out of our alleged moral supremacy. I sometimes feel these people are far better and innocent than our folks in India.

One thing I did not like is the way they treat convicts here – I don’t see a trace of compassion or of Christianity about which they keep giving big speeches to the whole world. Punishments are very severe, and death penalty is common. These things make me wonder if there is really any civilization… Eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth pretty much remains the norm of all conduct, Jesus Christ notwithstanding. Owning a gun is a fundamental right. Can you imagine that? I think it is outright stupid. When you drive along the highways you see boards saying Guns save life. I have not been able to see the point yet. One of the strongest lobbies in this country is the national rifle association, with a 4 million membership. That is insanity wholesale!

Another trouble is the name of streets. Looks like these people have seriously run out of names. Either it is the name of previous presidents, or states or such things that streets are given. Since any of these are not too numerous, names get repeated. So if you name a city called Springfield, you have to say in which state it belongs. Because there would be many Springfields in the country. So you say Springfield Illinois, Springfield Missouri et al. That would look really hilarious to Indians, but that’s the way. After the frachise business idea took shape, most places look the same – because McDonalds, KFC, Pizza hut and all have the same appearance everywhere. So if you happen to see a street in a movie, it will be very difficult to guess which city it is in. Even if a part of the city is shown, you will not be able to identify, with rare exceptions. In India it is a general knowledge question answered by very few people to find names that get repeated anywhere in the whole country.

(to be contd...)