Friday, December 31, 2004

Musings on 2004...

Year end laxity and the fact that 99% of the work force here in my work place is on vacation has kind of put me in the vacation mode – in other words, no work is being done. I don’t feel like it either, which is nothing new, but this is year end time…! Just a few more hours to go to finally call 2004 another sloppy useless year in my life. To add to the mess I had been to the gym yesterday and ran 6 miles like a big hero and got my legs jacked seriously today. I am used to running such distances, but something went wrong yesterday. So here I am sitting with a painful right leg and writing stuff to give headaches to those who are dumb enough to read these.

The gals of my age group are busy in contributing to the continuation of the species. Others are into similar games, but are not keen on having the output so fast. Yet others, like me, are seriously weighing the decision to get married or not! Not much choice on that front really, considering biology is something of a formidable force. So sooner or later it is going to be traversing through the long treaded path of family and wife and nagging and kids and … my god.

Looking back at anything is not the way I go ahead about things. But sometimes it is tempting, like this year end time. It is tempting and disappointing too to see the results of another futile year on the planet. This year mainly comprised of about 200 days at work place.. it is the worst swear I can give to 2004. But honestly speaking it was not so bad. I flew business class to the US. Business class? I can see my Indian friends gasping for breath, for those poor souls have only traveled in economy through Indian service companies! Snigger, snigger.. My company, after its many years of existence learned that it is a futile thing to pay more to thankless disgruntled employees. Instead they decided to make our preferred airline rich. So these days all of us travel business class. No joke. Of course, US branches have always done that, but when bad times came in 2001-2003, the top management there suddenly decided that they could save good money by letting their Indian counterparts travel the way the world travels – economy class. But a dramatic quirk of fate brought back human travel to us Indians this year mid. So at least in that aspect we are at par with our American brethren.

2004 has not just been about work. My parents decided it is time to curb my freedom. I saw a couple of girls and thankfully nothing worked out. Most of the girls I saw were waiting anxiously for Tom Cruise. I tried to convince he gets in and out of marriage like a slimy reptile, but the girls preferred that instead. My stand on the church and its associated wisdom was disliked by a few of the females I had the privilege to see. Wisdom prevailed…

I read a good number of books – Krishnamurti and osho have laid their consecrating hands upon me. I was reading a book named My Diamond Days with Osho by one of his close disciples. This year it was another series of blasphemous literature like The Last temptation by Kazantzakis. If you have a taste for Krishnamurti, his books can be superb. You will get to know in the first few lines whether you have a taste for him or not. Osho is always delightful, sparklingly intelligent and irreverent!

I have been getting enough exercise since I cycle to work and back. So that it is about 24 km total a day. When I told my boss that I take the longer route to work, he said "you are so eager to get to work!". So this year there was some good cycling. Besides, I met my guru Shreekumar at the cycle shop where I get my cycle repaired. This gentleman is a top notch cyclist – see his blog at http://shreekumar.blogspot.com/. I consider my luck that I have always been able to be friends with and understand individuals who tread outside the commonly used paths.

Not a single year passes without some major blunders. This year I went to tickle and queendom and did a few IQ tests and came back crying since they said I was retarded. Mmmm. Don’t smile and snigger and feel superior. If I am retarded, then what about the people who are reading these pages? You should be even more so.

I am hoping that my sign Libra behaves well and gives me a good year ahead!

So looking back, it was a nice year. Tsunamis and all for entertainment. As each of these years go behind, one thing is dead sure. We are ALL growing older – whether we are growing is a different question altogether. I will let posterity answer that.

Musings on America - Part 2

If I don’t mention the heartbeat of the US, the Interstate system of highways, I would be doing great injustice to Eisenhower. Interstates are highways that run the length and breadth of the country – four lane for most part, except in cities where they are sometimes upto 16 lanes. It is safe and comfortable to drive on these roads. Coming from India, they were really a surprise to me. Cows and animals normally don’t cross the road and pedestrians/ cyclists are not even allowed on them. However, more exotic ones like antelopes and mongooses do try to cross them and sometimes get killed. Cars and trucks roam free, as long as they abide by the speed limits. It is 65 miles per hour high and 45 miles per hour low limit within which you drive – but practical allowance make it for a high of 75. You average about 100 km per hour on a normal journey, assuming sane driving.

Workplace is real cool. People come in at 8 and leave at 5. During work hours they actually work! That’s a far cry from India where people come in at 10, take huge breaks for lunch, tea and fags, go back at 9 in the night and say they are overworked. These are a few things my countrymen should learn from Americans. Professionals are really professionals. J When it comes to efficiency, there is no beating them. Of course, germans are still there in Europe… But these guys are a tad too much obsessed about efficiency.

The food is something I guess I will take some time getting used to. Burgers, pizzas and stuff. My god. Then there is coffee. And decaf. Can you imagine decaffeinated coffee? People here actually prefer it. Decaffeinated coffee seems to be something roughly similar to having water that will not quench thirst. Then there is sweeteners, which looks like sugar but is not sugar. Why? Sugar has too much calories it seems. Boy. It is definitely a land of extremes. People running marathons to pass time on one end and people who weigh 300 pounds on the other.

If you ever go to have tea, they would ask whether you want small, medium or large size cups. Indians should always ask for small because they will faint if they see the large size cups. The large cups are so large that those size vessels are used in my village back in Kerala to feed cows.

I guess it is precisely this play of extremes that makes life sometimes interesting in this strange land, flanked by two different oceans on either side, and a huge country on the north.

When I talk about the north, many more things come to my mind. For instance, the winter. The guys who have been reading this and not known the winters here should read on. In the tropics, we have a far better climate. Winters are chilly here – temperatures in dec and jan hover perpetually below zero Centrigrade (yea 32 F). Even 30s are considered warm enough. Till now I have seen -16C. Only polar bears are naturally adapted to live in this kind of weather. And I live so north that I can actually walk over to the Canadian border, and cycle to the north pole! Its the season here when people open the fridge to feel warm. I had once put a few cans of Pepsi in my car boot. Due to the cold, the liquid became solid and made holes on the can. It was steady -14C outside then. People in India would never have used heaters in their cars, except the ones living far north. Here it is an everyday thing in winter. You cannot drive without the heater.

If I come to social mannerism, it is really fun. People say sorry, thank you, excuse me et al at the drop of a hat. These words are used so frequently that it has lost meaning. It becomes a mere formality to use these once beautiful words. In India, it still means a lot to say a thank you or sorry to someone. On the rare occasions it is used in my country, it is usually meant. Here in US it is used everyday, and never the person using it means it. All these kinda speaks of their British ancestry.

I have not yet written of the most fascinating topic yet. Girls! This is the land of Marilyn Monroe and Britney Spears, J Lo and others. But women here seems so dignified to me, unlike what Indians think snobbishly. Girls don’t always dress the way they appear to be in Baywatch. If it is the idea of my Indian friends, they better change. It is something like how National Geographic shows Africa. It looks so sweet and cute on NG, but the reality is slightly different.

Though I don’t know much about the family life of the Americans here, I guess it is pretty much good and sweet. People don’t marry and divorce the next year. I guess we Indians need to really get out of our alleged moral supremacy. I sometimes feel these people are far better and innocent than our folks in India.

One thing I did not like is the way they treat convicts here – I don’t see a trace of compassion or of Christianity about which they keep giving big speeches to the whole world. Punishments are very severe, and death penalty is common. These things make me wonder if there is really any civilization… Eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth pretty much remains the norm of all conduct, Jesus Christ notwithstanding. Owning a gun is a fundamental right. Can you imagine that? I think it is outright stupid. When you drive along the highways you see boards saying Guns save life. I have not been able to see the point yet. One of the strongest lobbies in this country is the national rifle association, with a 4 million membership. That is insanity wholesale!

Another trouble is the name of streets. Looks like these people have seriously run out of names. Either it is the name of previous presidents, or states or such things that streets are given. Since any of these are not too numerous, names get repeated. So if you name a city called Springfield, you have to say in which state it belongs. Because there would be many Springfields in the country. So you say Springfield Illinois, Springfield Missouri et al. That would look really hilarious to Indians, but that’s the way. After the frachise business idea took shape, most places look the same – because McDonalds, KFC, Pizza hut and all have the same appearance everywhere. So if you happen to see a street in a movie, it will be very difficult to guess which city it is in. Even if a part of the city is shown, you will not be able to identify, with rare exceptions. In India it is a general knowledge question answered by very few people to find names that get repeated anywhere in the whole country.

(to be contd...)

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Musings on America - Part 1

For those of you who have not been successful enough to visit the United States (please mark my sarcasm!), I wish to write down a few words about the impressions that have gathered during my stay here.

It is one of the luxuries of my profession that you get to travel to lands where you will not be stupid enough to go with your own money. One day my manager called and said that I had to go to the US for some training on some real core crazy technical stuff. I was expected to get trained and do the work and then come back. So I was granted a B1 visa – permission to visit America for business.

Incidentally this managerial decision to train me on junk benefited me in many ways. In spite of having been in the industry for about 4 years, and at the age of 27, I had still not flown the Wright bros procreation. So I flew up and down to Chennai for visa, then from Bangalore via Frankfurt to Chicago on Lufthansa. As the flight descended over the Lake Michigan to Chicago I realized Americans tend to use words very loosely – this ocean was actually being called a Lake! Or was it that my concept of lakes was pretty much dwarfed by Indian conditioning?

Frankfurt airport did surprise me – they had trains to go from one terminal to another. In India my idea of a train was to connect two cities. In Chicago’s Ohare international airport there were greater surprises in store – the plane after landing actually goes over a bridge, underneath goes a highway! Things seem to be really upside down here. This airport is truly international – planes come in from all directions, and at any given point of time a person with average eyesight can see 5 aircrafts preparing to land. As if that is not enough, they have another airport nearby called Midway where only domestic flights land.

If you love cars, you would go crazy – all kinds of luxury, full size, mid size cars zoom on the highway over which you go when you board the train to the next terminal. The cars made here are way too cool and large. But like Americans, they drink a lot of fuel – unlike the measly Japanese counterparts that would run upto the northpole with one full tank of fuel. When talking about measures, here the only good thing is the measure of time is still in seconds, minutes and hours, thankfully. Rest all are topsy turvy – miles instead of kilometers, pounds instead of kilograms… Farenheit instead of Centigrade. But you get used to these kind of inanities slowly. I mean, you have no choice. Besides, you drive on the right side of the road – not a drastic change for me, unlike what I expected it to be.

Once you get down the flight, you encounter the INS, the notorious Immigration and Naturalisation Service of the US. Arrogance would be an understatement to describe their attitude. But then, it is not surprising. These are the people who would send back members of my tribe (engineers) and accept warmly drug smugglers and others who seeks political “asylum”. In fact, the word is quite apt – this is an asylum. America has the largest number of insane people in the world – and this list includes the most exalted ones in the political hierarchy.

I was lucky to land here the first time in summer. Superb climate, lots of sun, days extending to almost 9PM. People rent cars in the airport itself and drive to their destinations and return the car there… People don’t honk the hell out of cars. So the place is sweet and silent.

Another thing I noticed was huge displays showing temperatures here and there. You find a few every mile. The obsession of Americans with weather is mind boggling. Back in India, I had not seen a temperature display in a public place in 26 years of my life. Here they have channels for weather on top of it. People look at the weather channel and decide if they need to take umbrella or not. Back in Kerala, where it rains for a good part of the year, things were simple – if it is rainy season take umbrella. Otherwise don’t bother. Life apparently is not so simple for the folks out here.

People jog on the roads, many of them topless. Now, my Indian friends, don’t run to book your tickets to US. Unfortunately it is the men who are topless, not the ones you expected to see! Cars respectfully make way for pedestrians. Cyclists literally have their heyday. Running and health has become a national obsession, apart from eating – forty thousand people run the Chicago marathon every year. I don’t think that many number of people have run a marathon since 1947 in India. But then on the other hand, you have people who weight close to a ton. I have not seen such people in India either, thank god. Obesity is a national phenomenon here with 30 million people obese. It is no joke – I feel sorry for them. They don’t have the company of the opposite sex and in this country it is difficult to live without bed games. Obese people are a woebegotten lot, going to adult stores and buying stuff. It is a side of the US that people outside don’t get to see.
Of course, most of my impressions would be clouded by the fact that I am in the mid-west, land that is typically known for thin density of population. They say you live in the mid west if your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting for a tractor to pass. Roads seem empty most of the time. Here is another geographical paradox – this part of the country (Chicago area) is actually closer to the east than west. Still it is called mid-west. Slowly but surely, I am getting used to the American way of life – nothing surprises me anymore! They have local clubs playing American football – and they call it world championship! And for football they use more of their hands than their foot.
(to be continued....)

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

blogs and me

I am a high tech techie and the ease of using these pages here to put down a few words really amaze me. Wow, this thing is real cool! In the tech world, most of us believe that the best things in life come terribly complicated - like girls, for instance. Now some of you might fume that I have put them in the category of "things". Well, er, I found no other categories at this point of time and you can make a black mark on my moral character for such a drastic omission.

I have seen a couple of great blogs out here and honestly some of them give me a complex. Yea, not the one you thought about - it is a superiority complext that I got! So armed with my vocabs I crammed in for a never-to-do GRE exam and other such junk inherited from college days, I decided to come in and write a few words for those of you who have nothing better to do in life except read this kind of junk.

So this blog is my intro into the blogspace and I wish to subtly introduce myself through these pages, in course of time. No 1200 word intro (yea, I found that in my profile) would do for me - I can write a book about myself! So I left my intro in the profile blank and let the blogs do the talking. What were the blog guys thinking when they thought someone could intro themselves in just 1200 words. It is nothing short of a major blasphemy. :) Besides, my astrological forecast for this week said I would do something momentous related to "writing, publishing and stuff". So here I am, all set to prove astrology right and its critics wrong (thats my intention at least, not sure how things would turn out). Another pleasure in writing these words is that I am doing it during office hours, and that is getting paid to write these kind of stuff. Writers would definitely envy me.

Now that you have read upto this point through the pig pile, I guess I can give a brief intro. I am an engineer with a big time MNC now. Yea, I intentionally left saying working with them because I dont work. You can see that right away. That gives me a lot of time to browse the web, muse on how to spend time in creative ways (of course blogs are not one of them!) and stuff. Currently I am in a small sweet town in Illinois, US for a short assignment. Fate has landed me in a place where I wished to come by my own - University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign. Of course, anyone can walk into the campus - but getting in there for an MS in computer science is something which only the mighty brained IIT-ians would dare to think about. So indirectly I came into the same precincts as my more exalted contemporaries have landed.

My unwillingness to work is not because of laziness that affects people of my sign (libra). Nope. Far from it. I feel I am under-employed. In other words, I am just! an engineer when I should have been high in the echelons of power - say, the CEO. So these small jobs dont merit my calibre or time. That means you can expect to see more blogs of mine in and around this place.

I intend to put more and more of my lively life into these pages in the days to come. Someday, when the stars are really in favour, I might publish a book out of those. Incidentally, I have a series of articles and thoughts I have made on my college REC Rourkela, Orissa, India. These days it is called NIT, as if changing the name would make a difference. I will take those articles and put it here in a abridged format. Unless of course many of you protest loudly. Initially when I started putting my thoughts into words, I got a lot of requests - but I continued anyways!

So here is my first blog for all of you to bark on!

The Khan.